How To Communicate So People Will Listen

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How To Improve Your Communication Skills

Everything you could ever desire to create or achieve requires clear, effective communication that inspires purposeful action. While conscious communication has power to open doors to new worlds of opportunity; unconscious communication often closes them.

Mastering the Art of Clear, Effective Communication

In every moment you are continually communicating with others and yourself. Actually, you cannot not communicate! You communicate in many ways, verbally and nonverbally. Your body language speaks volumes. You communicate with your intention and energy. Sometimes what you don’t say… speaks louder than what you do say.

This blog offers you 7 potent tips to improve your communication skills in every area of life.

1. Pause. Check In with Your Self & Trust Your Intuitive Wisdom

Before you open your mouth to speak, invest a moment to pause. Tune in to the wisdom of your body. Are you feeling resistance, or flow? Do not allow circumstances or people to pressure you into responding hastily, or you’ll give away your power, and you won’t communicate effectively. You may also end up making poor decisions that you’ll need to later fix or unwind. If you feel anything less than clear, center, and empowered, or at the very least neutral in your mental/emotional state… then, pause – inhale and exhale. Be still; be silent. Go for a walk. Put your bare feet in the earth; let go of any discordant frequencies. Create space for new possibilities to unfold. Honor the moment, your self, and the other before feeling the need to talk. Come into your center before communicating. Get out of your head, and tune in to the wisdom of your heart and solar plexus. Ask yourself, what’s the highest choice? What is most important right now? What is my Spirit telling me is the wisest way to proceed?

2. Be Clear with Your Intention.

Know your intent. Clarity is power! Before you begin each day, or prior to entering a meeting, ask – what’s my intention? What is my ultimate outcome? How will I know when I realize it? What will I see, hear, and feel that let’s me know I’ve achieved it? As you ask these questions, see your desired results accomplished in advance in your mind, in a mutually beneficial way for all. When you are clear on intent you will not get influenced by other people’s agenda’s, which may or may not be aligned with your true purpose.

Without clear intent you can easily get lost, derailed, or waste time. Therefore, clarify your intent and concentrate on it (without attachment to how it will show up). Focus on what you value… what you envision… what you genuinely desire… what feels right for you… and what you Will to manifest, rather than fixing or avoiding what you don’t want.

3. Ask Intelligent Questions.

Your results will mirror the quality of the questions that you ask. Asking quality questions will empower you to understand another’s point of view, create rapport, attract resources, explore opportunities, direct focus, call forth empowering states, expand imagination, transform challenges, realize your vision, and more.

George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Don’t think that you know what another person means when they communicate without tuning into their vibe, and asking quality questions.

One of my favorite questions is… how do you mean? This question can be used to gather information. Brilliant communicators ask questions that elicit the deeper meaning beyond the words people use. They ask questions like, “How so?” How do you mean?” as a tool to understand another’s mindscape.

4. Listen without Interrupting.

When communicating with someone, bring your attention to the present moment while simultaneously expanding your awareness into the periphery. Ask questions with sincerity, and listen without interrupting.

Once the person responds, rather than assuming you know what they mean, inquire a little deeper. As discussed in #3, you can ask, how so? Or, how do you mean? Allow them to share. As they do, notice subtleties in their breathing, body language, and facial expressions.  This allows you to more easily understand their map of the world.

You can even step into their map of the world (in consciousness) and see, hear, and feel from their perspective.

5. Take Responsibility for How Your Communication is Received.

Communication is for the other person. What does that mean? Well, when you communicate, you’re not communicating to hear yourself talk. The purpose of communication is transference. It’s a process of relating in a way that inspires understanding so you come into a unified field.

Brilliant communicators take personal accountability for their your communication is received.

Isn’t it fascinating that two people can make a similar request and one is met with resistance while the other is honored. What’s the difference? The response you receive is a result of how you frame your communication. Every time you communicate you come from a frame, whether you are aware of it or not. For example, there’s a big difference between someone who’s come from a frame of gratitude vs. someone who comes from a frame of entitlement. Who would you rather be with? The request could be the same, but the energy fueling it is very different, and thus… so is the result.

Embrace this tenet: my communication is the response I get. This empowers you to choose language wisely.

6. Flexibility is Power.

Being flexible means going with the flow. When you are fluid, like water, there is not one terrain through which you could not travel. If you encounter resistance in a conversation, relax, and simply change your approach. Lighten up. The person who is most clear, most relaxed, and most flexible in any conversation is the influencing factor.

7. Be Still, & Let Go.

You source your power in stillness. Honor the still silent space. It’s the space between the notes that makes music. Similarly, in communication, investing a moment to pause is just as important as choosing words wisely. When you speak, give others and life itself an opportunity to respond, while you listen closely, and observe.

In stillness there is no attachment to a particular outcome. If in your communication you lust after a result, the underlying assumption is – something is missing. Attachment presupposes lack, which extinguishes your power. Instead, turn your attention toward the abundance surrounding you now. You can accomplish this by inhaling a breathe, and answering the question: What am I grateful for right now? Be still within, and allow thankfulness to flow in, as, and through you.

Enjoy practicing these 7 tips. And remember the ultimate tip to improve communication skills is LOVE. As Og Mandino said in the beginning of his great little book The Greatest Salesman in the World, “Greet this day with love in your heart.” Love is the way to brilliant communication. It is the way to create value and beauty.

In Sanskrit the greeting Namaste means, the Spirit in me sees and honors the Spirit in you. Communicating this way means loving each being at a soul level.

And this, my beloveds, is the most essential key to communicating effectively and authentically.




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  1. Thank you for sharing such wonderful insight. I believe that effective communication skills should be taught from a very young age. We fail in communication because more often than not we speak without using anyone of the tools you make mention of. How often do we take responsibility for how our communication is received? Hardly ever. So thank you once again for an educating and enlightening post Niurka!

  2. Niurka, I’m the past I asked friends and family, “do I have a sign on my forehead?”. Your teachings have opened my eyes, I now realize my words and body language were in fact larger than a sign on my forehead telling ‘others’ my intention. With this awareness I’m looking within and purposely focusing on what I project to make my intent aligned with word and my body language. Insight rocks girl!?

  3. Pride to Know-how to communicate kept me from learning more. Through your tips I have allowed myself to be mirrored. I let go of pretense and preconceived ideas and let my self to be innocent again and naive in the most positive way.
    Thank you again for sharing your wisdom.

  4. Adding something:
    I’m actually wrecked by what you shared and scared as well. I will need to trust, that my marriage can be revived with wholesome communication. I Will it!
    Hugs and namaste

  5. Pingback: Quantum Leap Your Results Through Your Communication – Niurka

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